I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I wish i was in the wii world.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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