listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
