I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
