...so i touched it.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
