But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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