woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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