its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
it glows. i had to have it.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
