That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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