So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
the room spins SO much faster in panama
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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