last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Randomize
