You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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