I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
