I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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