Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm too high and old for this...
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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