dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
