Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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