it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
