Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
