We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
