I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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