So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I fill condoms, not promises.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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