Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
