drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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