And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
