I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
