hell yes lets make some ravioli
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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