hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
