I have demons in me.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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