i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
