Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
