Taylor Swift is so right about you.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
