will power is for people who don't want to get laid
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
