is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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