But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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