Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
