you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
