I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
