took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
