Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
