I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
