i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
