I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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