Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(906): View more from Michigan

Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow

(248): View more from Michigan

Perfect. Like where your heads at

(906): View more from Michigan

By relax I mean have sex

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(217): View more from Illinois

he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate

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(519): View more from Ontario

He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?

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(973): View more from New Jersey

He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.

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(214): View more from Texas

look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.

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(850): View more from Florida

Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.

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(323): View more from California

She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out

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