you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
