Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
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