I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
