Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
