That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
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