I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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