So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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