Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I have so many feelings about this burrito
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
