omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
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