you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
