My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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