yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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